One of the most valuable lesson that I have learned from my mother and the other important women in my family is that, through all adversities I must continue to be a lady. Now, that whole statement is one of the hardest things for me to do. There have been so many times, where I have either fought someone, which of course is not lady like or cussed someone completely out, and you know as well I do there should be no room in a lady's vocabulary for those type of words.
My aunt, cousin, and mom have all tried to change me. "Tone me down" so they have kindly put it. I mean I have proper manners, I dont always curse or fight, and at times I wear dresses. I mean you are really asking a lot of me.
Recently there was a situation that I had to become the most outstanding lady in the face of pure unadulterated bullshit that was spewed my way. This is involving a non family member who apparently doesn't realize that she more time on her hands than the rest of the world. The whole situation is and was very petty, so petty that I am not going to take the time to try to explain it. In the midst of all the he said, she said bullshit, I found it quite odd at the approach that I took when confronted by this uncouth bitch. I actually started to use the tactics my family have been trying to make me use for years. Awwww shit, I am becoming a lady! As I listened to her screech and continue to throw hot vile words at me, I surprisingly kept a level head, and tried to stay to the facts. She kept trying to over talk me and "try" to be little me. One thing people have to understand about me, is make sure that I dont know your situation before you try to go hard on me. This girl is a fucking joke, I kept saying to myself, I cant even believe she is coming at me like this. Take this back 6 months I would have been all over her shit and probably in jail. Now where would that have left me? Broke, jobless, out of school, and with police chargers. For what? A broke, unhappy, unfulfilled, uneducated, jealous, and fucking stupid little girl. Man get the fuck out of here. So this ladies and gentlemen, is when Courtney Reynolds finally became a woman.
In this en lighting period that I have had, I have realized what my grandma was saying about my temper. That it would make me lose everything and everyone around me if I didn't get a hold on it. I have a hold on it, and I am very proud of that. God puts test and tribulations in your life to see you actually listen and observed. He also gives people signs to show that their situations might not be the best ones to be in and that you might have to re evaluate the entire thing. Every situation in life has a meaning and a purpose, this one for me was my wake up call to focus on what I need to continue to get done, and don't sweat the small shit or small minded people. Because without these distractions how would ever know when to say enough is enough.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Why does growing up sucks?
I know that I haven't been on here lately. I have been reorganizing my life. Which brings me to my blog today. Yeah, I know this is a different direction from what I usually do, but I feel as though it is fitting considering that graduation is around the corner and other new adventurous things in people's lives are turning up.
Have you noticed that older that you get, the more and more you apperciated being young and naive and letting your parents handling everything? As you get older you are now faced with the fact of paying bills, such as rent or house payments, car insurance, health insurance, college loans, and so forth. I mean it is really just that much bullshit that I will not take the time to name it all.
Why is growing up so fucking hard and stressful? When does the shit get easier? I have pondered this question forever, and came up with the solution that is doesn't. Oh, how I miss the times where all I had to worry about was making sure that my socks matched and I put the right juice box in my lunch box for that day, so I wouldn't have a bitch fit if someone else seemed to screw up my request. Oh, how I miss when the only competition that you had in life was to see who would get the best swing first. Just makes you think about the simpler times, ya know?
Now I am 26, and I am planning my wedding, getting ready to graduate, and move away again from my parents and family. Just yesterday it seemed like I was hiding underneath my grandmother's table looking up at my daddy as he played like he couldn't find me. The game of hiding and seek was so innocent an fun, I just wish I could do that all over again. I don't want to be a "grown up" anymore, well for right now. I don't want these responsibilities that I have on my plate. Its scary. I am about to be someone's wife, possibly someone's mother, and a career orientated professional. Wow time flies.
Maybe, it will get easier and then I will be able to wrap my head around these new concepts? Nope, from what my daddy is telling me it will just much more complex. SHittttttttttttttttt! I am scared now, but I am willing to take the challenge head on. One question I must ask though. Why does growing up suck?
Have you noticed that older that you get, the more and more you apperciated being young and naive and letting your parents handling everything? As you get older you are now faced with the fact of paying bills, such as rent or house payments, car insurance, health insurance, college loans, and so forth. I mean it is really just that much bullshit that I will not take the time to name it all.
Why is growing up so fucking hard and stressful? When does the shit get easier? I have pondered this question forever, and came up with the solution that is doesn't. Oh, how I miss the times where all I had to worry about was making sure that my socks matched and I put the right juice box in my lunch box for that day, so I wouldn't have a bitch fit if someone else seemed to screw up my request. Oh, how I miss when the only competition that you had in life was to see who would get the best swing first. Just makes you think about the simpler times, ya know?
Now I am 26, and I am planning my wedding, getting ready to graduate, and move away again from my parents and family. Just yesterday it seemed like I was hiding underneath my grandmother's table looking up at my daddy as he played like he couldn't find me. The game of hiding and seek was so innocent an fun, I just wish I could do that all over again. I don't want to be a "grown up" anymore, well for right now. I don't want these responsibilities that I have on my plate. Its scary. I am about to be someone's wife, possibly someone's mother, and a career orientated professional. Wow time flies.
Maybe, it will get easier and then I will be able to wrap my head around these new concepts? Nope, from what my daddy is telling me it will just much more complex. SHittttttttttttttttt! I am scared now, but I am willing to take the challenge head on. One question I must ask though. Why does growing up suck?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Make people see past the color of your skin.
My momma always told me to make sure that I stand out in this world with my achievements so that way people will see past the color of my skin and appreciate me for Courtney Reynolds.
I feel like this blog today is the most appropriate simply because of Black History Month. Now I am not going to give a drawn out speech about our oppression as a people and blah blah blah. Although those factors are important don't get me wrong, but I want to take a new approach to this thing called racism.
Last night I was watching the reunion show for the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Phaedra Parks, who is a very successful entertainment attorney in Atlanta Ga, addressed the way Kim Zoliack speaks to her assistant Sweetie. A little background on the shows cast, it consits of five African American woman and one White Woman. The thing that bothered the panel of women and me as well is how Kim talked down to the girl. Now you are thinking , well if chick lets her talk to her like that what business is it of ours?, and that is totally a valid point. It is not, but it sets a back 67 years when you have ignorance like that being broadcasted on national tv. Kim said that she doesn't see what the big deal is. She doesn't see color and basically everyone is blowing this thing out of proportion. Phaedra could have not put it more elegantly when she said; "that as a race of people we are still sore with the injustice that received only 67 years ago. The nation as a whole has to be more sensitive to the fact that wasn't that long ago and although that African Americans have made tremendous advancements since then, there is still racism in 2011 and we need to stop being naive to the fact and deal with what it is really." She went on to state that, " She is African-American who grew up and is living in the south and there is nothing that is going to change that, and there are just certain things that you can say or do black women point blank period."
I believe the message that can be taken away from this is that they don't dislike Kim because she is white, because I don't, but she needs to be more assertive in understanding that everything is still black and white and not the rainbow we are all trying to create.
Last week in my Mass Media and Society class, there was a video called Dare not Walk Alone, and it showcased the civil rights movement here in St.Augustine Fl. The part that bothered me were the people who were interviewed. They showed them in the slums of St. Augustine and the poverty that they were experiencing. The thing is they went and found the most stereotypical African American male they could find. No formal education, dirty, dialect was broken, and in and out of jail, with a fictional rap career. There were so many other positive African Americans that we could have focused on, but instead we found "Peanut and Friends". I was so disgusted at my teacher I didn't even go back to class last Thursday. I know you are wondering whats the big deal, I am the only black girl in the class, and it bothered me how the kids were in there in snickering at the movie. So to keep from going to jail, I just didn't return to class that following Thursday, Fuck an absences, that movie offended the shit out of me. It was like, it wasn't even fair. I have been an employee of the Department of Commerce NOAA National Marine Sanctuary for 6 years and I have had to deal with a lot of shit being the only minority and having you work integrity questioned constantly because of that. I have made a great name for myself in my profession but to see that movie just made me want to throw up because it wasn't fair. What about the ones who are actually out here working and trying? There are alot of African Americans that came from the same situation that was prevalent in that documentary, my mom for example, but she is doing quite well for herself. So I call that documentary bullshit all day
As we get ready to leave out Black History Month, I feel as though put ancestors would be proud of our advancements collectively, but would be disappointed with what we are doing individually. I ask myself all the time what I am doing that will make people remember me for other than the color of my skin. Is race really such a taboo issue that us as Americans try not to deal with the obvious? I don't have the answers for that but I feel like we all have a responsibility in becoming racial tolerant of each other and understand each others differences and embrace them, instead of being afraid of them.
I feel like this blog today is the most appropriate simply because of Black History Month. Now I am not going to give a drawn out speech about our oppression as a people and blah blah blah. Although those factors are important don't get me wrong, but I want to take a new approach to this thing called racism.
Last night I was watching the reunion show for the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Phaedra Parks, who is a very successful entertainment attorney in Atlanta Ga, addressed the way Kim Zoliack speaks to her assistant Sweetie. A little background on the shows cast, it consits of five African American woman and one White Woman. The thing that bothered the panel of women and me as well is how Kim talked down to the girl. Now you are thinking , well if chick lets her talk to her like that what business is it of ours?, and that is totally a valid point. It is not, but it sets a back 67 years when you have ignorance like that being broadcasted on national tv. Kim said that she doesn't see what the big deal is. She doesn't see color and basically everyone is blowing this thing out of proportion. Phaedra could have not put it more elegantly when she said; "that as a race of people we are still sore with the injustice that received only 67 years ago. The nation as a whole has to be more sensitive to the fact that wasn't that long ago and although that African Americans have made tremendous advancements since then, there is still racism in 2011 and we need to stop being naive to the fact and deal with what it is really." She went on to state that, " She is African-American who grew up and is living in the south and there is nothing that is going to change that, and there are just certain things that you can say or do black women point blank period."
I believe the message that can be taken away from this is that they don't dislike Kim because she is white, because I don't, but she needs to be more assertive in understanding that everything is still black and white and not the rainbow we are all trying to create.
Last week in my Mass Media and Society class, there was a video called Dare not Walk Alone, and it showcased the civil rights movement here in St.Augustine Fl. The part that bothered me were the people who were interviewed. They showed them in the slums of St. Augustine and the poverty that they were experiencing. The thing is they went and found the most stereotypical African American male they could find. No formal education, dirty, dialect was broken, and in and out of jail, with a fictional rap career. There were so many other positive African Americans that we could have focused on, but instead we found "Peanut and Friends". I was so disgusted at my teacher I didn't even go back to class last Thursday. I know you are wondering whats the big deal, I am the only black girl in the class, and it bothered me how the kids were in there in snickering at the movie. So to keep from going to jail, I just didn't return to class that following Thursday, Fuck an absences, that movie offended the shit out of me. It was like, it wasn't even fair. I have been an employee of the Department of Commerce NOAA National Marine Sanctuary for 6 years and I have had to deal with a lot of shit being the only minority and having you work integrity questioned constantly because of that. I have made a great name for myself in my profession but to see that movie just made me want to throw up because it wasn't fair. What about the ones who are actually out here working and trying? There are alot of African Americans that came from the same situation that was prevalent in that documentary, my mom for example, but she is doing quite well for herself. So I call that documentary bullshit all day
As we get ready to leave out Black History Month, I feel as though put ancestors would be proud of our advancements collectively, but would be disappointed with what we are doing individually. I ask myself all the time what I am doing that will make people remember me for other than the color of my skin. Is race really such a taboo issue that us as Americans try not to deal with the obvious? I don't have the answers for that but I feel like we all have a responsibility in becoming racial tolerant of each other and understand each others differences and embrace them, instead of being afraid of them.
You Cant Do Buisness with Family and Family is sure as hell overrated!
I had the most interesting experience with my family about two weeks ago. I always find my personal experiences to be very comical and funny. See here is the thing my family owns a funeral home and it was originally operated by grandparents and they passed it down to their sons which would be my daddy and uncle. Well here is where its get interesting, now the other side of the family is using this as their claim to fame which is totally fine to me, because I nor my parents are profiting off of the damn thing and honestly nobody in my household wants to anything to do with it for many reasons but mainly because of the bullshit behind it. Just Saying.
But anyways, so the thing is the other side wants us not to be involved but they want help financially. The question that I ponder is when you start nick people out of your business plans and ventures that usually mean that you have a sound plan in place so that way you will have all things covered. Right? Wrong, not with these people, but hey I am not judging. My only thing is this don't talk shit about the people who are actually helping you. Its is always funny to me, when people have to humble themselves and eat their words. One thing that I have learned out of life, watch what the hell you say because you never know and NEVER BURN YOUR BRIDGES, because you never know when you will have to cross those waters again. I have lived by these rules, I have burned plenty of bridges, but none that I have expected to cross over again, like the ones that are going help me further my career, positive entities in my life, and those who genuinely care about my well being and what happens to me in this world. I don't burn financial bridges, especially if I know I am going to need them in the future. The solution to that one, is shut the fuck get your ass up and work and you wont have to worry about eating your words or asking for help. Point Blank and then you can burn as many bridges, Hell have a bonfire for all I care, but make sure you have your shit in order before you decide to take that leap.
I hate grown ass adults who always have their hand out but is always complaining. Shut the hell up because somebody else is cleaning up your shit for you and what do you really have anything to complain about? Oh yeah I also hate grown ass adults that blame their downfalls in their lives on others than taking responsibility for their own actions and then have the nerve to tell somebody else what they deserve or feel like they are social relevant to exists outside of their own miserable existence. Not quite the case. But hey who the hell I am? I have been told that I am spoiled and that my shit doesn't stink and that I feel like that the world revolves around me and my parents. So with that being said, I will continue to live this awesome life that I have been blessed with as well as my parents, and continue to get what "I deserve". Really, I laugh at the stupid shit people say.
OK I am through with that rant for today
Love and Kittens,
Courtney
But anyways, so the thing is the other side wants us not to be involved but they want help financially. The question that I ponder is when you start nick people out of your business plans and ventures that usually mean that you have a sound plan in place so that way you will have all things covered. Right? Wrong, not with these people, but hey I am not judging. My only thing is this don't talk shit about the people who are actually helping you. Its is always funny to me, when people have to humble themselves and eat their words. One thing that I have learned out of life, watch what the hell you say because you never know and NEVER BURN YOUR BRIDGES, because you never know when you will have to cross those waters again. I have lived by these rules, I have burned plenty of bridges, but none that I have expected to cross over again, like the ones that are going help me further my career, positive entities in my life, and those who genuinely care about my well being and what happens to me in this world. I don't burn financial bridges, especially if I know I am going to need them in the future. The solution to that one, is shut the fuck get your ass up and work and you wont have to worry about eating your words or asking for help. Point Blank and then you can burn as many bridges, Hell have a bonfire for all I care, but make sure you have your shit in order before you decide to take that leap.
I hate grown ass adults who always have their hand out but is always complaining. Shut the hell up because somebody else is cleaning up your shit for you and what do you really have anything to complain about? Oh yeah I also hate grown ass adults that blame their downfalls in their lives on others than taking responsibility for their own actions and then have the nerve to tell somebody else what they deserve or feel like they are social relevant to exists outside of their own miserable existence. Not quite the case. But hey who the hell I am? I have been told that I am spoiled and that my shit doesn't stink and that I feel like that the world revolves around me and my parents. So with that being said, I will continue to live this awesome life that I have been blessed with as well as my parents, and continue to get what "I deserve". Really, I laugh at the stupid shit people say.
OK I am through with that rant for today
Love and Kittens,
Courtney
Sunday, January 30, 2011
When a man gives you too many excuses, when you first meet him, either he is crazy as hell or he is married, either run like hell!!!!!!!
Dating down here in Florida has been very interesting, to say the least. Simply because it is none existent. When I first moved down here, last January I encountered a gentleman we will so kindly name as "Dan". When I first met him he was very nice looking, late 20's dark hair, green eyes, tan and tall. He told me that he was "intrigued" by me, basically saying he has never dated a black girl before and that he would really like to take me to dinner. So I agreed, Hell Craig and I was on the rocks again so I decided to this just to get out and mingle a little.
Before I went on this date my mom asked me a series of questions, like how do I know him, make sure that we go to well lighted places, and make sure my 9mm was loaded and under my seat. (I am from Atlanta and we don't play that funny business shit, and yes I am licenced to carry a weapon, so no need to be alarmed I am legal.) But something that stuck out to me is what she said next, "If he gives you a lot run around when you ask him questions, or he is acting paranoid then run like hell because his wife is right behind him!!!" I laughed so hard when she said that, I swear that I peed a little, I mean that really like messed me up for the rest of the night.
But what is funny is that, that exact scenario happened, he was really jumpy and nervous. I thought at one point I was going to jump across the table and punch his ass in the face, to calm him down. Once dinner was over, he might have said the most obvious thing to me, He will text me when he got home, to let me know he was in the house. So I asked him why not just call, I mean I really didn't want him to call but I was just testing the water, and do you know what this fool said? He likes to text better than talking, Oh Hell, there goes the neighborhood, we have a cheater ladies and gentlemen!!!! So of course I never talked to him again. So check this out, I was running on the beach, at Jacksonville Beach, and guess who I ran by? Dan!!!! and his lovely family! This asshole had two small kids and a wife, if I wasn't worried about getting arrested by Jax Beach Police, I would have went Chris Brown on his ass something nasty.
I learned a valuable lesson that day, people are selfish and they are out for their own gratifications in life. I mean this applies to everyone, yes ladies you know we have our f***** up ways too!!, but what I am trying to say is that it is hard to find people to date when you get older because they tend to have baggage and drama, like our friend Dan.
I have noticed that being down here in St.Augustine that finding dates are just scarce as finding a good pair of jeans in Old Navy. I wondering what is it really? Maybe its me? I open to anything (not to be taken literally) but it just seem like the scene is whack as hell down here, maybe they are not going to be as bold our friend Dan and subject everyone to their bullshit or they just could not be existent. Who knows, oh well!!!!!
Before I went on this date my mom asked me a series of questions, like how do I know him, make sure that we go to well lighted places, and make sure my 9mm was loaded and under my seat. (I am from Atlanta and we don't play that funny business shit, and yes I am licenced to carry a weapon, so no need to be alarmed I am legal.) But something that stuck out to me is what she said next, "If he gives you a lot run around when you ask him questions, or he is acting paranoid then run like hell because his wife is right behind him!!!" I laughed so hard when she said that, I swear that I peed a little, I mean that really like messed me up for the rest of the night.
But what is funny is that, that exact scenario happened, he was really jumpy and nervous. I thought at one point I was going to jump across the table and punch his ass in the face, to calm him down. Once dinner was over, he might have said the most obvious thing to me, He will text me when he got home, to let me know he was in the house. So I asked him why not just call, I mean I really didn't want him to call but I was just testing the water, and do you know what this fool said? He likes to text better than talking, Oh Hell, there goes the neighborhood, we have a cheater ladies and gentlemen!!!! So of course I never talked to him again. So check this out, I was running on the beach, at Jacksonville Beach, and guess who I ran by? Dan!!!! and his lovely family! This asshole had two small kids and a wife, if I wasn't worried about getting arrested by Jax Beach Police, I would have went Chris Brown on his ass something nasty.
I learned a valuable lesson that day, people are selfish and they are out for their own gratifications in life. I mean this applies to everyone, yes ladies you know we have our f***** up ways too!!, but what I am trying to say is that it is hard to find people to date when you get older because they tend to have baggage and drama, like our friend Dan.
I have noticed that being down here in St.Augustine that finding dates are just scarce as finding a good pair of jeans in Old Navy. I wondering what is it really? Maybe its me? I open to anything (not to be taken literally) but it just seem like the scene is whack as hell down here, maybe they are not going to be as bold our friend Dan and subject everyone to their bullshit or they just could not be existent. Who knows, oh well!!!!!
Your apperance means everything in this vain world!
"You have a big butt", "You have huge thighs", "You are really muscular", and everything that you can think of it was said to me growing up. Especially the infamous I needed to go on a diet at 12. Yeah I know, somebody should have called services on my mom. But I cant blame her because at the time, society had everybody brainwashed that everyone had to be stick thin and if you wasnt then that was a problem and you wouldnt be accepted socially or some bullshit like that. So growing up I didnt appreciate the body that I have now, simply because my mom didnt think "fat" would be accepted. (Poor Lady, she didnt know any better). Well as grew up I gained more "butt", thighs, and a chest. I played soccer all through high school and became a certified scuba diver during my freshman year in college, so I have always been active and always had a healthy build. Now here is where I bring it home, so why is it today, in society, everybody has to get butt implants, breast implants, and cat food injections (just kidding about the cat food, but hell who really knows what's in that stuff). Now once upon a time it was wrong for black girls to be comfortable with their figures, they were either "ghetto booties"(yes, I have heard this before), they are fat, or they unhealthy. Now, isnt funny that people are paying thousands to have the full lips, the big butts, the big chest, and anything else artificial. I think as a society we just need to embrace who we are and except that. I wouldnt change anything about me, but to shed some of this winter weight, other than that I am happy with who I am. Hell at least I dont have to pay for something that can kill me, and I have it naturally. As long as you are healthy with your lifestyle and body type, dont worry about what other people have to say. Especially society, apparently they dont know what the hell they are talking about one minute, they want you to be skinny and then they want you blow up and look like CoCo, Ice T's wife. We have lost too many people to the lure of cosmetic surgery such as Kanye West Mom and of course Micheal Jackson, I mean seriously get a grip.
Friday, January 28, 2011
There are just somethings in life that you dont play with..........
I was always told by my mama that there are three things in life that you don't play with, your life, God, and other people feelings. Of course I asked her what she meant and she simply explained it to me like this; If you play with your life and not take it seriously you will lose. If you play with other people feelings you will lose, and if you play with God you will for sure lose. At an early age I learned what all of that meant dealing with different things that happened in my life. Now I know everyone who is reading this might not have the same religious beliefs or background that I might have, and believe me I am not a "Bible Thumper" and I am not trying to shove religion down your throat like a big heaping spoonful of nasty cough syrup, but I just want you to think about this posting in a worldly view and keep an open mind.
I don't have particular story in today's media circuit that relates to this saying solely, but majority of the issues that are in our news can relate collectively at some degree. I just want to people to be more observant about the things that they in their lives. There are consequences to everything that you do in life regardless of whether it is bad or good. As humans we are very selfish about our own lives and we don't realize the effects that we have on others as well as others until some shit goes wrong and then there goes the finger point. I am going to keep this post short and sweet today. We, people, need to take our lives much more seriously and not just be out here "living" in this world, have some type of purpose of your being here. Be cautious of how you treat people, especially if they genuinely care about you, because karma is a HUGE BITCH! and she doesn't care about hurting you (remember she is fat, so i wouldn't want to mess with her), and lastly don't play God, meaning don't treat the elderly rude or don't mis treat children because they are all linked back to him and he takes care of his own, be polite and kind to everyone even though it can be hard.(Ok, that was my only bible thumping for today!)
I don't have particular story in today's media circuit that relates to this saying solely, but majority of the issues that are in our news can relate collectively at some degree. I just want to people to be more observant about the things that they in their lives. There are consequences to everything that you do in life regardless of whether it is bad or good. As humans we are very selfish about our own lives and we don't realize the effects that we have on others as well as others until some shit goes wrong and then there goes the finger point. I am going to keep this post short and sweet today. We, people, need to take our lives much more seriously and not just be out here "living" in this world, have some type of purpose of your being here. Be cautious of how you treat people, especially if they genuinely care about you, because karma is a HUGE BITCH! and she doesn't care about hurting you (remember she is fat, so i wouldn't want to mess with her), and lastly don't play God, meaning don't treat the elderly rude or don't mis treat children because they are all linked back to him and he takes care of his own, be polite and kind to everyone even though it can be hard.(Ok, that was my only bible thumping for today!)
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